youth

i prefer my days in the midst of a haze surrounded by kind words, sriacha on everything, everything bagels, too much coffee, parking lots, playing the banjo, intoxicated dancing, clothes i can't afford, the world to appreciate, the details to look at piece by piece, friendship, croquet, new faces, old stories, jazz and the martini, slowly but surely making my way out of here

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Catching Elephant is a theme by Andy Taylor

 

It hasn’t sunk in that I have to wake up in 7 hours, 39 minutes for my last semester of high school tomorrow I’ve just been replaying the events of this break over and over again in my head till it aches with an overflow of detail and shock. The last thing I posted, about being too late for the one thing in life that your sure of. In my mind I was being perfectly specific and I was getting so terrified that I had missed my chance, the scenario I’ve played over in my head a million times, one that I wasn’t sure if it would be years or never until it happened. Until I was sitting in that room, my head full of whiskey talking in circles and being so late and trying to grasp the horrible but absolute perfect timing. Its my sanity, it washed over me almost a year ago in a tree on the side of a highway, and I’ve kept it as hidden as I could, as of two weeks ago while writing that I was on the verge of tears in the middle of a restaurant envisioning how horrible my break would be due to these circumstances. Of course, right When I think my life is becoming predictable it gave me the most unexpected chain of events packed in to two weeks, that have become arguably the weirdest, most amazing two weeks of my life. Ive just been lying there, staring at the threads of his shirt, trying to explain myself with words but I just can’t. Its everything to me, its my past two years its my future in years to come, it could be in a different shape but its there in some form. Its left me with a heap of unanswered questions and complicated events yet to come, but nothing could be more worth it to me. On new years we went camping on the lake in that picture, with a ten person tent and entirely too much new years supplies, an exploded can of chili and an unexpected cold night where we all ended up shaking the whole night, will getting punched in the face, thinking Steven was dying in the back of a mini van, driving to Guthrie too many times Pat trying to convert us and marge with the lazy eye, eating Asian eternity hungover as shit and missing work and only two months till London and then emancipation, ready for the last stretch.

It hasn’t sunk in that I have to wake up in 7 hours, 39 minutes for my last semester of high school tomorrow

I’ve just been replaying the events of this break over and over again in my head till it aches with an overflow of detail and shock.

The last thing I posted, about being too late for the one thing in life that your sure of. In my mind I was being perfectly specific and I was getting so terrified that I had missed my chance, the scenario I’ve played over in my head a million times, one that I wasn’t sure if it would be years or never until it happened.

Until I was sitting in that room, my head full of whiskey talking in circles and being so late and trying to grasp the horrible but absolute perfect timing.

Its my sanity, it washed over me almost a year ago in a tree on the side of a highway, and I’ve kept it as hidden as I could, as of two weeks ago while writing that I was on the verge of tears in the middle of a restaurant envisioning how horrible my break would be due to these circumstances. Of course, right When I think my life is becoming predictable it gave me the most unexpected chain of events packed in to two weeks, that have become arguably the weirdest, most amazing two weeks of my life.

Ive just been lying there, staring at the threads of his shirt, trying to explain myself with words but I just can’t. Its everything to me, its my past two years its my future in years to come, it could be in a different shape but its there in some form.

Its left me with a heap of unanswered questions and complicated events yet to come, but nothing could be more worth it to me.

On new years we went camping on the lake in that picture, with a ten person tent and entirely too much new years supplies, an exploded can of chili and an unexpected cold night where we all ended up shaking the whole night, will getting punched in the face, thinking Steven was dying in the back of a mini van, driving to Guthrie too many times

Pat trying to convert us and marge with the lazy eye, eating Asian eternity hungover as shit and missing work and only two months till London and then emancipation, ready for the last stretch.